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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXV

The heat is on, so here’s a dose of more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • That concoction is really smelling up the place so please put a lid on it
  • As we read the riot act our troupe will be rehearing the most action-packed part of the play
  • We’d better put it on ice if we want the skating exhibition to attract fans
  • We need a red herring to complement the rainbow trout and yellow fin tuna (more…)

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TOP 10 Questionable Driving Behaviours

It’s the time of year to truly enjoy driving in the great outdoors – as long as you don’t get caught in compromising situations…

  • Juggling three cell phones to carry on a conference call
  • Hanging out an uncorked genie-in-a-bottle air freshener (more…)

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TOP 10 Ways to Recognize CANADA DAY

For the 148th time (including preceding I.D.s)…

  • ‘Flag down’ neighbourhood speeders
  • Drink red and white wines all day
  • Use maple syrup in place of cooking oils (more…)

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Humour

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXIV

The first half of the year is almost done, however, there’s still plenty more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • She shouldn’t be pushing up daisies if she expects them to grow properly
  • It should rain on my parade of seedlings according to the latest forecast
  • It’s much easier to push your buttons on with fine thread and patience (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Ways to Celebrate Father’s Day

In honour of a special annual day of recognition…

  • Give him a card with a $50 certificate toward his favourite new vehicle
  • When he reminds you of how much more challenging it was when he was young, smile and don’t roll your eyes
  • Let him win an argument for a change (more…)

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXIII

The pending glow of the summer solstice shines on more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • You can pound the pavement all you want, but if there’s any answer I’m getting outa’ here
  • Rather than preach to the converted why not save your voice and just give them a pamphlet?
  • It’s much gentler if instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, one lets it scamper away when ready (more…)

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Humour

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Low Tech Magic Tricks You Can Try at Home

A little practice, and you too can become an expert…

  • The Hand Sandwich cut into quarters   (the reveal: start with the premise it’s really finger food)
  • Turning Powder into lemonade only using water (the reveal: using a clear pitcher enhances the transition effect) (more…)

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXII

Time to bask in the glow of more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • Being short on instruments is one thing, but trying to play the field is going to take a lot of suspension of belief from the audience
  • Now that shaking the box is over the top should reveal some of those elusive raisins (more…)

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TOP 10 Ways to Demonstrate Good Dining & Conversation Etiquette

After all, good social manners go with good food and good drink…

  • Invitations for luncheons or cocktail parties should be sent out a couple of weeks in advance, but potential party crashers can be emailed the day before
  • If you visit the buffet more than three times, select different colour items and declare you’re doing a rainbow food study
  • Concerning napkins, fold them in the shapes of hearts on your lap so people will think you’re sensitive (more…)

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXI

A new month, time to look into more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • Since it got damaged, we’re out of the frying pan which does the best job cooking scrambled eggs
  • They love to live out on the plain and simple is the lifestyle they want (more…)

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