TOP 10 New Year’s Resolutions
‘Out-of-the-box’ Goals to aim for in 2015:
- Lose weight by trimming your bling
- Organize your files in non-alphabetical order for a greater challenge
- Add ethereal, esoteric accreditations on your business card (more…)
Archive for December, 2014
Memorable Quote # 17
Remember me, remember me
When I have gone away
Remember that I lived and died
As you will too, some day (more…)
TOP 10 ‘Coping with Winter’ Activities:
For those of us who live in cold & snowy climes…
- Paint the snow green
- Pretend the wind really is whistling Dixie
- Plant snowballs and enjoy them not growing (more…)
TOP 10 ‘Boxing Day’ Promotions
In celebration of the year-end frenzy…
- All items 50 – 75% off except those with white, yellow, orange, pink, red, blue, green, purple, brown, or black stickers
- Take 80% off all out-of-stock & deleted items (more…)
TOP 10 Little Known Holiday Traditions & Caveats
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
- Sandwiches for Santa should be on rye bread because this is as close as he can get to liquor on his most important delivery day
- In lieu of chimneys, Santa prefers a red silk chute through a side window
- If children arise prior to 6:00 am, parents can withdraw one gift for every twenty minutes they attempt to get the household up earlier (more…)
Clichés Upgraded – Part XII
This makes a dozen batches of enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):
- Hop, skip, and a jump: Name the three phases of dancing through dog droppings
- Your overcoat seems to be wearing out, so if the shoe fits, wear it (more…)
Memorable Quote # 16
In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be (more…)
Clichés Upgraded – Part XI
That time again, another batch of enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):
- New research has shown that being as happy as a clam is really a shell game
- The cook left her baking on the cold window sill, accidentally creating icing on the cake (more…)
the watch of time 
The Pseudo Community Newspaper
Notwithstanding the omnipresence of electronic communications in our daily lives, versions of community newspapers continue to exist, if not flourish. Why should we be an exception?
Here are excerpts from the latest monthly edition of what’s happening in our neck of the woods…
Mayor Timmy Holmes continues to display his greatest attribute, namely being (more…)
Category:
Humour, Social & political humour
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