Creative commentary plus crafty composition

Archive for December, 2014

TOP 10 New Year’s Resolutions

‘Out-of-the-box’ Goals to aim for in 2015:

  • Lose weight by trimming your bling
  • Organize your files in non-alphabetical order for a greater challenge
  • Add ethereal, esoteric accreditations on your business card (more…)

Memorable Quote # 17

Remember me, remember me

When I have gone away

Remember that I lived and died

As you will too, some day (more…)

TOP 10 ‘Coping with Winter’ Activities:

For those of us who live in cold & snowy climes…

  • Paint the snow green
  • Pretend the wind really is whistling Dixie
  • Plant snowballs and enjoy them not growing (more…)

TOP 10 ‘Boxing Day’ Promotions

In celebration of the year-end frenzy…

  • All items 50 – 75% off except those with white, yellow, orange, pink, red, blue, green, purple, brown, or black stickers
  • Take 80% off all out-of-stock & deleted items (more…)

TOP 10 Little Known Holiday Traditions & Caveats

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  • Sandwiches for Santa should be on rye bread because this is as close as he can get to liquor on his most important delivery day
  • In lieu of chimneys, Santa prefers a red silk chute through a side window
  • If children arise prior to 6:00 am, parents can withdraw one gift for every twenty minutes they attempt to get the household up earlier (more…)

TOP 10 ‘Should Be’ Competitive Sports Rules:

It’s that time of the year when Top 10 lists abound, so…

  • Hockey players receiving penalties of five minutes or more should have the option of serving time later in community service
  • Golfers should use green balls to be more respectful of nature (more…)

Clichés Upgraded – Part XII

This makes a dozen batches of enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • Hop, skip, and a jump: Name the three phases of dancing through dog droppings
  • Your overcoat seems to be wearing out, so if the shoe fits, wear it (more…)