Creative commentary plus crafty composition

Clichés Upgraded – Part XI

That time again, another batch of enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • New research has shown that being as happy as a clam is really a shell game
  • The cook left her baking on the cold window sill, accidentally creating icing on the cake
  • If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, so I’m switching to another pronoun
  • Unless the reconstructive surgery means his legs are joined at the hip he won’t be a happy camper
  • The guillotine operator’s instruction manual, “Where’s the blade and how’s it hanging”, is finally being published
  • I’ll leave you with something to chew on if I have to go before we find the bubble gum
  • What good is a time machine if we go back fifty years and find we’re not getting any younger?
  • My brother is contemplating interspecies marriage, so chances are I’ll be a monkey’s uncle
  • It would have been more impressive if instead of having people enter in on the ground floor, they used one that had tiles on it
  • According to the rules, a jack of all trades is worth as many points as a king of half of them

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