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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

TOP 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2019

The last year of the second decade of the new millennium is upon us; goals both new and refined remain to be clarified & charged up…

  • Lose weight by carrying fewer heavy memories and hefty resolutions
  • Cut and paste pictures of yourself on scenes of faraway places to reduce the size and expense of your bucket list
  • Resolve not to worry about stock market volatility by focusing instead on using more coupons
  • Promise yourself that the next time a fork in the road appears, you’ll take the tines necessary to consider what lies ahead
  • Establish a time capsule business for multi-generational inheritances
  • Discover a new species and become its trusted advisor in multilateral negotiations
  • Memorize the first and last lines of classic books so you sound like you are well read
  • Develop a new social networking site which functions to pass judgement on other social networking sites
  • Start up a Fisherman’s almanac with multiple choice weather predictions allowing the reader to act like a paid forecaster
  • Take a study at home course on how to interact more proactively with others

Objectives like these should set the stage for a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Socially Correct Holiday Season Slogans

Let’s put out to pasture the term ‘political correctness’!

Not only has this expression increasingly fallen out of favour based on its accumulated baggage, built on decades of use, but the word political doesn’t stand up anymore as encompassing enough to cover the inexorable intrusion of social media and expression.

Therefore, let’s henceforth categorize any relevant references under the theoretically broader, more modern term of ‘social correctness’.

That said, ‘social correctness’ to some extent itself is an oxymoron.  To be truly social implies a certain amount of undefined freedom; but then, correctness implies some adherence to rules or conventions.  Therefore, while s.c. is equipped to be more current than p.c., the correctness badge is sometimes ambiguous.

Now that we are into December, celebration of the Christmas season and the New Year is gearing up in both symbol and psyche.

Yet, controversy continues to hold its own.  This week in parts of North America, the 1940s song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, a popular, albeit borderline, seasonal standard mainly for the older crowd, has been banned from airplay due to some of its suggestive lyrics.  Those who feel the issue is covered in social correctness are applauding, others with a more historical perspective are shaking their heads.  After all, we have urban tangents of music with lyrics which are, at best, provocative, but which seem acceptable to some to be played anytime of the year.

This, of course, does not even delve into the wider debate of using the word and image of ‘Christmas’ itself.  While a wide swath of the population continues to see no basis for concern, except for its historical legitimacy being threatened, segments of the s.c. crowd continue to tread otherwise.

So, where do we stand, now and looking forward?  Perhaps it’s wise to have some adaptive expressions at the ready – for instance…

  • ‘Tis the season to be prepared to laugh at any tastefully designed, non-discriminatory anecdotes
  • Peace on earth, to the extent it is permissible under the applicable, jurisdictional regime in power
  • Warmest wishes for the holidays, although with the impact of global warming, aka climate change, this should be increasingly unavoidable
  • Sleigh bells ring, so it’s safe to assume holiday season no-gooders won’t be depending on them
  • Wishing you a warm and cozy Christmas, as long as you restrict your burning of fossil or flora fuels
  • Let music fill the air, to the extent the lyrics and melody are distinguishable, or at least don’t drown out our senses
  • From our home to yours, since we borrowed all that stuff from you, which we hadn’t returned yet
  • Greetings of the season, allowing that this overwhelming era of communications and marketing have blurred the lines inexorably
  • Let us celebrate with ‘wonder’ and ‘joy’, in the knowledge that their meaning may be under siege somewhere by children growing up with these names
  • Wishing you the best for the New Year to make up for the roller-coaster twists and turns of this one

Of course, the list is as ever-expanding as our collective categorizing will take us.

TOP 10 Ways to Improve Elections

With the Canadian provincial and municipal elections earlier this year and recently, plus a major biennial election south of the border earlier this month, one cannot help wondering what can be done to make the process, impact, etc. more interesting(more…)

What’s in a Name?

One of the rotating features of many clubs is a theme for the meeting.

A few years ago, our Toastmasters club evolved from periodically featuring a meeting theme to making this a regular part of the weekly agenda.  It should be noted it serves as a backdrop influencing some components, such as the Toast or Table Topics, but core roles such as formal speaking or evaluating follow their own course and may or may not intersect with the theme. (more…)

A Modern Halloween Life

If there’s a message underlying many escapades in The Simpsons’ annual Halloween “Treehouse of Horror” episodes, it’s that simply twisting the slant of everyday routines can be sufficient to make reality a black humour version of unnerving, or worse.  This emerges most overtly when the backdrop is parody, shaped by the tone of this venerable take on animated life.

The most memorable moments stem from great writing, about altered states.  These stand out, like in life itself, the dust settling in varying layers of destiny. (more…)

Canadian Cannabis Slogans

While cannabis is now officially legal in Canada, there are limitations for any versions of advertising or outright promotion (and there are some understandable reasons why).

So here’s a Top 10 list of laid-back slogans various and sundry parties may wish to use, perhaps to raise a leaf to for a little inspiration… (more…)

Thanksgiving: Viewed from the Plate

This coming weekend is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada, with the day itself keeping the tradition of second Monday in October.  Considered one of those occasions to bond with family, as with the U.S. version later in November, it hasn’t dovetailed into the latter’s four-day event also celebrating the shopping madness of ‘Black Friday’.

While these are longstanding festivities in both countries, with historical origins involving early explorers and settlers, this is looking at things only from the side of the consumer, i.e. the one enjoying the repast. (more…)