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Archive for the ‘Social & political humour’ Category

Top 10 Tips to Effective Goal Achieving

 

There is a long held view that striving for challenging, but achievable, goals is important…

  • Take some vocal lessons so you’ll be prepared to sing a new tune
  • When engaging with others, borrow a turf roller to ensure you’re on a level playing field
  • Be prepared to clear up mistakes by carrying white-out with you at all times
  • Chew on gum and elastic bands to increase your flexibility (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 Ways to Cope with Markets Turbulence

 

Recent negative market volatility is part of a long term trend – of ongoing market volatility.  How can we remain invested and cope with it?

  • Stay in bed and avoid contact with television, radio, or internet
  • Learn to savour the tastes of bread and water (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 Unasked Questions of Winners’ Families

Yet again this morning a TV host asked the classically prosaic, reaction question of a gold medal winner’s family, namely “How did you feel?”  In such situations, the opportunity to ask more probing, insightful questions is missed, such as…

  • Did he have a shower this morning before the competition?
  • Did she start her long jump career by leaping over her cousins? (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Simplest Election Promise Solutions

With the Canadian election campaign creeping on toward October 17th…

  • Balance the books, by placing them on the heads of the campaign workers with the most hair, or
  • Balance the books, via resting them on the incoming government party’s platform, since these otherwise unoccupied by firm commitments
  • Increase day care spaces, by putting more chairs and water bottles in each facility (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Bizarre City By-Laws & Policies

The City of Ottawa has followed again this summer a policy of closing beaches well before the end of August, when it not only normally remains quite warm, but also as this year when it can be steamy hot; what other policy gems are there?

  • If you find paper money on the street, it must be thrown in the nearest garbage can for health reasons
  • Remember that parking on downtown streets is a privilege, regardless of merchants’ dependency for customers, so any restrictions or charges are fair
  • When the mayor shows up for a photo-op, it means there is highly important city business (more…)

Category:

Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Uncommon Form Evaluations  

Almost any business or professional development event seems to request that attendees complete an evaluation form; here are subjects with customized rating scales…

  • The venue was accessible with good acoustics (rate: Imax quality to laundry mat competitor)
  • There was enough ‘elbow room’ between seats in the auditorium (rate: very comfortable to squashed)
  • The opening session set high expectations with incentives to learn (rate: laudable to pedestrian) (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Wistful Responses to Rude Situations

This morning we found ourselves temporarily trapped behind a driver parked illegally in front of the train station entrance, who wanted us to shift dangerously past him so he wouldn’t have to move…

  • When waiting to complete a retail transaction because the clerk turns to some other activity, take out your pen and give yourself a negligence discount
  • If stuck in a lineup because the too few service counters are operating at a snail pace, broadcast a live news flash for local media
  • Have waiting passengers hold a meeting in front of a private vehicle blocking the transit entrance (more…)

Category:

Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Reasons for an Extra-Long Election Campaign

This morning, in the middle of a summer holiday weekend, Canada’s Prime Minister officially launched the Federal Election Campaign for the vote October 19th – why so early?

  • More opportunity for practicing those barbequing skills at public events
  • Lots of time to massage the message that extra taxpayer-funded spending is just a way of paying for a staycation
  • More frequent flier points for candidates, staff, and media (more…)

Category:

Humour, Social & political commentary, Social & political humour

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Top 10 Non-Qualifying Pan Am Sports

Since sports such as roller skating and water skiing are eligible, and in consideration of modern technology, can these be far behind?

  • Low e coli count water sample hunt
  • Multiple mobile device text racing
  • Poker cards speed counting
  • Portable beach chair relay (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Lesser Known ‘Black Friday’ Deals

As the marketing spirit of ‘Black Friday’ expands beyond its original borders, watch for these…

  • $200 gift certificate discounted $100, toward the purchase of a new car
  • Two pillow covers included with each mattress or box spring
  • Free economy-size bottle of white-out with each pallet of printing paper (more…)

Category:

Humour, Social & political humour

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