Creative commentary plus crafty composition

The City of Ottawa has followed again this summer a policy of closing beaches well before the end of August, when it not only normally remains quite warm, but also as this year when it can be steamy hot; what other policy gems are there?

  • If you find paper money on the street, it must be thrown in the nearest garbage can for health reasons
  • Remember that parking on downtown streets is a privilege, regardless of merchants’ dependency for customers, so any restrictions or charges are fair
  • When the mayor shows up for a photo-op, it means there is highly important city business
  • The impetus for speed limit changes does not require more than one complaint or a complaint filed more recently than five years
  • With vast pesticide restrictions in place, the transition of lawns and parks from grass to weeds is a natural process to be abided
  • Public transit always supersedes private vehicles’ traffic priorities, whether geographically logical or not, especially during relentless reconstruction projects
  • Street cleaning during rain spells simply ensures a thorough cleaning job is done
  • Sanitation workers treat household recycle boxes with respect to enhance durability
  • The rights of protest groups on city streets routinely take precedence over the public’s rights of access and safe passage
  • Be assured that by-law enforcement officers have an impeccable sense of fairness in exercising their duties

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