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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

TOP 10 Ways to Use Humour in Speeches

The use of humour is one of the most effective tools a speaker can use to humanize or change the flavour of a message – within reason…

  • Arrange for squishy pads to be spread all over the floor so audience members will feel funny when they enter the room
  • Use anecdotes from daily life, cut and shaved to leave the ‘slipping on a banana peel’ parts
  • Toss out puzzle pieces of cut up paper money and watch as audience members try to piece them together before realizing they’re counterfeit (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Labour Day Activities

The range of what people might be doing on Labour Day varies considerably…

  • Dust off the gym card and join the legions of sporadic exercisers
  • Rest up and psych up for pending labour intensive schoolwork assistance with children
  • Discover new couch potato positions for watching sports (more…)

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Humour

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XL

It’s the transitional Labour Day weekend, so here’s celebrating with more enriched clichés (with the originals in italics):

  • For a problem lasting as long as the seven year itch you have to cope with trying lots of medication
  • Shoot the breeze if you’re such a hot-to-trot firearms expert
  • Shoot yourself in the foot of the impressive gorge for a picturesque backdrop (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Unasked Questions of Winners’ Families

Yet again this morning a TV host asked the classically prosaic, reaction question of a gold medal winner’s family, namely “How did you feel?”  In such situations, the opportunity to ask more probing, insightful questions is missed, such as…

  • Did he have a shower this morning before the competition?
  • Did she start her long jump career by leaping over her cousins? (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Simplest Election Promise Solutions

With the Canadian election campaign creeping on toward October 17th…

  • Balance the books, by placing them on the heads of the campaign workers with the most hair, or
  • Balance the books, via resting them on the incoming government party’s platform, since these otherwise unoccupied by firm commitments
  • Increase day care spaces, by putting more chairs and water bottles in each facility (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXIX

Still summertime, still more enlivened clichés (with the originals in italics):

  • If you take the time to run circles around the instruction changes, no one will miss seeing them
  • After all, I had three, so now the shoe is on the other foot
  • Their pitcher had to serve up a lollipop because his team ran out of baseballs (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Bizarre City By-Laws & Policies

The City of Ottawa has followed again this summer a policy of closing beaches well before the end of August, when it not only normally remains quite warm, but also as this year when it can be steamy hot; what other policy gems are there?

  • If you find paper money on the street, it must be thrown in the nearest garbage can for health reasons
  • Remember that parking on downtown streets is a privilege, regardless of merchants’ dependency for customers, so any restrictions or charges are fair
  • When the mayor shows up for a photo-op, it means there is highly important city business (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Uncommon Form Evaluations  

Almost any business or professional development event seems to request that attendees complete an evaluation form; here are subjects with customized rating scales…

  • The venue was accessible with good acoustics (rate: Imax quality to laundry mat competitor)
  • There was enough ‘elbow room’ between seats in the auditorium (rate: very comfortable to squashed)
  • The opening session set high expectations with incentives to learn (rate: laudable to pedestrian) (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Wistful Responses to Rude Situations

This morning we found ourselves temporarily trapped behind a driver parked illegally in front of the train station entrance, who wanted us to shift dangerously past him so he wouldn’t have to move…

  • When waiting to complete a retail transaction because the clerk turns to some other activity, take out your pen and give yourself a negligence discount
  • If stuck in a lineup because the too few service counters are operating at a snail pace, broadcast a live news flash for local media
  • Have waiting passengers hold a meeting in front of a private vehicle blocking the transit entrance (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Yin & Yang with Having Summer Visitors

Whether it be relatives or friends, there are pros and cons when folks come to visit during the summer

  • New slants on endless talks about the weather
  • Fewer excuses to avoid visiting overlooked local sites
  • The excitement of anticipating their arrival evolves to the excitement of anticipating their departure (more…)

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Humour

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