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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

TOP 10 Provocative Communiqués from Pets

 

If pets could actually communicate remarks and comments, what might they be…

  • I’m not the only one who benefits from a walk, as you would know if you looked in a mirror
  • If you didn’t want me to scratch the furniture, you should have taped some treats there
  • Sure, I’ll run after it, but only after you make a fool of yourself encouraging me (more…)

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Humour, Uncategorized

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Top 10 Tips to Effective Goal Achieving

 

There is a long held view that striving for challenging, but achievable, goals is important…

  • Take some vocal lessons so you’ll be prepared to sing a new tune
  • When engaging with others, borrow a turf roller to ensure you’re on a level playing field
  • Be prepared to clear up mistakes by carrying white-out with you at all times
  • Chew on gum and elastic bands to increase your flexibility (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour, Uncategorized

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Clichés Upgraded – Part L

 

The end of January is nigh, so time to enjoy the occasion with the 50th edition of updated clichés (with originals in italics):

  • When I visit someone and find out the hard way their fireplace is real, that burns me up
  • Until a different design of the ball becomes popular, that’s the way the ball bounces
  • That’s a wrap for the last mummy to be put on display
  • The first one of you that hits the spot wins the drooling contest (more…)

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Humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 Lost Episodes of ‘The X-Files’

 

After a hiatus of more than a dozen years (except for a forgettable theatrical release), the iconic TV series ‘The X-Files’ will reappear this coming Sunday for the launch of an updated mini-series.  However, rumour has it that a number of controversial episodes have been shelved over time – perhaps loyal aficionados should be made aware, if the truth is really out there… 

  • Mulder and Scully attempt to discover why their social media connections are suddenly unfriending them in droves
  • At a remote scientific station, Mulder and Scully help researchers battle a creature which changes its form whenever there’s a variation in the eerie music playing on the intercom (more…)

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Arts commentary, Humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 Lessons Entrepreneurs Can Learn from Survival Shows

Adaptability of skills and responses – need we say more…

  • When waters are muddied, have an alternate supply ready
  • Have a safety net to protect you from things that bug you
  • You might have to swallow unpleasant things in order to move on to another day
  • When encountering possibly helpful odd and ends, think like a sculptor (more…)

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Humour, Personal Development, Top 10, Uncategorized

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XLIX

 

The new year and its incumbent weather is upon us, so time to escape with updated clichés (with originals in italics):

  • Sure, you got taken for a ride, but it could have been for money
  • Now that we have to pay the entry fee by weight, the machine is taking its toll on you
  • This landscapes board game is so possession focused, it has a card allowing you to take the scenic route (more…)

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Humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 Ways to Cope with Markets Turbulence

 

Recent negative market volatility is part of a long term trend – of ongoing market volatility.  How can we remain invested and cope with it?

  • Stay in bed and avoid contact with television, radio, or internet
  • Learn to savour the tastes of bread and water (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour, Uncategorized

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Humourous Analogies

 

Expressing a message in humourous analogies, observations, proverbs, etc. combines clever use of language with making an observational point.  They can also draw attention to foibles in language itself.

Here are some examples, from The Light Touch by Malcolm Kushner:

–  Inflation is the process of living in a more expensive neighbourhood without moving

 –  An audience is the only group of people who get tired after they sit down (more…)

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Humour, Uncategorized

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TOP 10 New Year’s Resolutions: (revisited)

 

‘Out-of-the-box’ Goals to aim for in 2016:

  • Lose weight by trimming your bling
  • Organize your files in non-alphabetical order for a greater research challenge
  • Add ethereal, esoteric accreditations on your business card
  • Invent a new species and become its ruler (more…)

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Humour, Personal Development, Uncategorized

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XLVIII

 

Time to celebrate the end of the year, and be ‘taken’ by more updated clichés (with originals in italics):

  • If your walkway needs more lift, take a step back from the stack in the garage and add it in front
  • Once you take care of your knitting a new yarn to tell the public, maybe they’ll give you some slack
  • Don’t let her have the satisfaction of taking it to the limit of your patience (more…)

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Humour, Uncategorized

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