Creative commentary plus crafty composition

Posts tagged ‘Humour’

TOP 10 Omitted Census Questions

It’s census time. Notwithstanding a google search implying Canadians are showing ‘enthusiasm’ since its launch via mail this week leading to a huge influx of internet traffic, one suspects this is primarily for one or both of two reasons: to make sure one is not part of the 25% selected for the long version; and to get it over with. (Perhaps a follow-up email could verify this by census.) As seemingly intrusive as questions are, there remain many unexplored areas… (more…)

TOP 10 Benefits of the Appearance of Spring

Now just over a month officially into the season, it finally seems to be blooming with possibilities…

  • ‘White out conditions’ refer to the need to correct typos 
  • Hibernating construction zones emerge and begin to multiply
  • One no longer has to pretend they’re ‘all season’ tires (more…)

Some ‘buts’ About it

A humourous piece in the current issue of Toastmaster magazine illustrates the difficulty many of us have in conversational responses without contingencies.

The author focuses on the common crutch word ‘but’, all too often used as an appendage to a reply which begins with ‘yes’ or ‘yeah’. Many of us feel the urge to qualify our rejoinders. If we do, that may be either with a positive or a negative bent. (more…)

TOP 10 Signs of St. Patrick’s Day (revisited)

 

Technically, only one day a year

  • Everyone named Patrick has a halo
  • People spend green to buy green to wind up feeling green
  • You can’t tell if pedestrians are staggering from liquor or from icy sidewalks (more…)

It Started Tongue-in-Cheek

 

A couple of past tongue-in-cheek articles from Toastmaster magazine inspire a launch point for observing some foibles in our use of the English language.

First of all, consider my use in the first line of ‘tongue-in-cheek’.  Have you consciously tried to maintain this juxtaposition physically?  Not only is it uncomfortable, it’s rather difficult to focus on doing much else while so engaged – although the effort can serve as an alternative tongue strengthening exercise in speech preparation, so you could conclude that there is a silver lining. (more…)

Bumper Headlines for 2016

Thanks to 24/7 news and entertainment reporting, there are cascading varieties of bumper headlines these days…

  • Can/Am leaders kiss, test results positive
  • Early bird doesn’t adjust to daylight savings time, loses worm
  • Hot Canadian housing markets turning molehills into mountains
  • Essential oils becoming more valuable than fuel oils
  • Infrastructure becomes most googled four syllable term (more…)

Clichés Upgraded – Part LI

 

The end of Leap Year February is on the horizon, so time to ‘march’ on with updated clichés (with originals in italics):

  • You may have rehearsed your delivery, but the resounding silence votes that’s no joke
  • Because of the inevitable change in their composition, things aren’t what they used to be
  • We threw a curve ball for them, since the dancers are all fans of baseball (more…)

Little Known Government Budget Measures

 

With both the Canadian and Ontario governments releasing budgets this past week, it’s interesting to scrutinize some proposed measures which seem to have slipped by initial reporting

  • Potholes in roads outside municipal jurisdiction will be eligible for naming rights once they are filled in
  • Visitors to the respective Parliament buildings will be permitted to claim a recycling credit for any loose garbage or flyers they pick up and take away
  • Voting on suggested themes for $9 and $19 circulation coins will commence later this year (more…)

What Is Suitable

 

News item:  The mayor of Coquitlan, British Columbia, stated in a recent interview that he wore the same suit (with occasional dry cleanings) for fifteen months, and no one noticed, at meetings or other gatherings; when asked if this would contrast strongly with the reaction a woman would receive if she tried to do the same thing, he concurred.

Imagine if this ‘male advantage’ applied in other ways(more…)

TOP 10 ‘Coping with Winter’ Activities (revisited):

 

For those of us coping with life in cold & snowy climes, especially after a snowmageddon…

  • Cut holes in the ice and hunt for lost coins
  • Learn to hibernate
  • Hide things where you can find them so you’re constantly getting warm looking
  • Plant snowballs, melt more snow to water them, and see if they grow (more…)