the watch of time

News item:  The mayor of Coquitlan, British Columbia, stated in a recent interview that he wore the same suit (with occasional dry cleanings) for fifteen months, and no one noticed, at meetings or other gatherings; when asked if this would contrast strongly with the reaction a woman would receive if she tried to do the same thing, he concurred.

Imagine if this ‘male advantage’ applied in other ways…

• ITEM: man drives car without shirt for whole year, only needing to adjust climate control settings
• ITEM: man and woman walk down main streets sporting salt and pepper hair; man receives approving stares
• ITEM: male and female pastry chefs gain weight over years at bakery; man receives plaudits for dedication to his craft
• ITEM: men’s team unveils new fishnet style uniform, women’s team still at drawing board
• ITEM: unisex stool pigeon society still seeking first female member
• ITEM: man watches TV sports for entire month, consuming only beer and snacks; no one comments on food stains or breath
• ITEM: plumber clothing supplier considers more flexible material, as long as part of backside visible when stretching
• ITEM: miners tell of secret formula which cleans hands within weeks
• ITEM: beauty pageant announces bachelor affiliation option
• ITEM: man takes dog for a long walk, doesn’t have to speak with construction workers