Creative commentary plus crafty composition

Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

TOP 10 Signs of St. Patrick’s Day (revisited)

 

Technically, only one day a year

  • Everyone named Patrick has a halo
  • People spend green to buy green to wind up feeling green
  • You can’t tell if pedestrians are staggering from liquor or from icy sidewalks (more…)

It Started Tongue-in-Cheek

 

A couple of past tongue-in-cheek articles from Toastmaster magazine inspire a launch point for observing some foibles in our use of the English language.

First of all, consider my use in the first line of ‘tongue-in-cheek’.  Have you consciously tried to maintain this juxtaposition physically?  Not only is it uncomfortable, it’s rather difficult to focus on doing much else while so engaged – although the effort can serve as an alternative tongue strengthening exercise in speech preparation, so you could conclude that there is a silver lining. (more…)

Bumper Headlines for 2016

Thanks to 24/7 news and entertainment reporting, there are cascading varieties of bumper headlines these days…

  • Can/Am leaders kiss, test results positive
  • Early bird doesn’t adjust to daylight savings time, loses worm
  • Hot Canadian housing markets turning molehills into mountains
  • Essential oils becoming more valuable than fuel oils
  • Infrastructure becomes most googled four syllable term (more…)

Clichés Upgraded – Part LI

 

The end of Leap Year February is on the horizon, so time to ‘march’ on with updated clichés (with originals in italics):

  • You may have rehearsed your delivery, but the resounding silence votes that’s no joke
  • Because of the inevitable change in their composition, things aren’t what they used to be
  • We threw a curve ball for them, since the dancers are all fans of baseball (more…)

Little Known Government Budget Measures

 

With both the Canadian and Ontario governments releasing budgets this past week, it’s interesting to scrutinize some proposed measures which seem to have slipped by initial reporting

  • Potholes in roads outside municipal jurisdiction will be eligible for naming rights once they are filled in
  • Visitors to the respective Parliament buildings will be permitted to claim a recycling credit for any loose garbage or flyers they pick up and take away
  • Voting on suggested themes for $9 and $19 circulation coins will commence later this year (more…)

TOP 10 ‘Coping with Winter’ Activities (revisited):

 

For those of us coping with life in cold & snowy climes, especially after a snowmageddon…

  • Cut holes in the ice and hunt for lost coins
  • Learn to hibernate
  • Hide things where you can find them so you’re constantly getting warm looking
  • Plant snowballs, melt more snow to water them, and see if they grow (more…)

Applications from Binge Watching

 

Yesterday, for the first time, I binge watched a TV show: season one’s ten episodes of Better Call Saul were run, prior to its launching of season two later on last evening.  (The host speciality channel, AMC, has made a habit of such volume-based indulgences, including with its other hit series The Walking Dead and Breaking BadBetter Call Saul actually intended as a prequel to the latter.) (more…)

Another TOP 10 Lesser Valentine’s Day Sayings

 

The day is here

  • A kiss makes the heart feel young, but there may still be a role for Botox and a facelift
  • I’m like a kid back in kindergarten, I send out Valentine’s cards with postage due
  • It may be a love-bite, but I’m going to get a shot for it just in case (more…)

TOP 10 Lesser Valentine’s Day Sayings

 

In anticipation of the special day forthcoming this weekend

  • If you live to be 100, I’ll know to keep the insurance claim handy
  • They invented hugs to let people know you love them and that your arm exercises have been working
  • The hours I spend with you are like a perfumed garden, which is unlucky as I have an allergy to strong scents (more…)

Being Humourous Without Boundaries

 

An article in the current month’s edition of Toastmaster magazine addresses a tricky issue in the field of humour: managing to be funny while minimizing negative cultural fallout.

As those who have given talks outside their native land (or even to sectors within it) have come to recognize, what’s funny here may not be considered funny there. (more…)