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Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXVIII

We are now in the August presence of more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • We’ve been notified that the rolling stone gathers no moss until well enough compensated
  • The blast of air was for such a short time it was called a second wind (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Reasons for an Extra-Long Election Campaign

This morning, in the middle of a summer holiday weekend, Canada’s Prime Minister officially launched the Federal Election Campaign for the vote October 19th – why so early?

  • More opportunity for practicing those barbequing skills at public events
  • Lots of time to massage the message that extra taxpayer-funded spending is just a way of paying for a staycation
  • More frequent flier points for candidates, staff, and media (more…)

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Humour, Social & political commentary, Social & political humour

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXVII

It’s the end of a hot July, and here’s more cool enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • Sorry about the bad throw, it went through the gutter and right up your alley
  • He’s such a devotee of that vintage he doesn’t mind scraping the bottom of the barrel to get every drop of wine
  • Be careful of the vegetation because it’s rough around the edges of the forest (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 ‘Urban Olympics’ Events

We’ve had geographically-based, Olympic scale games for many years.  It’s time to get more concretely demographic…

  • Non-accidental intersection crossing (three divisions: car vs. car, bicycle vs. pedestrian, no limit)
  • Municipal officials photo op dash
  • Public transit performance estimating (more…)

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Humour

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Top 10 Non-Qualifying Pan Am Sports

Since sports such as roller skating and water skiing are eligible, and in consideration of modern technology, can these be far behind?

  • Low e coli count water sample hunt
  • Multiple mobile device text racing
  • Poker cards speed counting
  • Portable beach chair relay (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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Clichés Upgraded – Part XXXVI

Officially 1/3rd into summer, and here’s a dose of more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

  • Some clothes fell into the crushed grapes, so you can add more flavour to your soup if you put a sock in it
  • You can try a more obscure approach with rhyme or reason more directly for quicker results (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Lesser Known ‘Black Friday’ Deals

As the marketing spirit of ‘Black Friday’ expands beyond its original borders, watch for these…

  • $200 gift certificate discounted $100, toward the purchase of a new car
  • Two pillow covers included with each mattress or box spring
  • Free economy-size bottle of white-out with each pallet of printing paper (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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TOP 10 Ways to Cope with HOT Weather

Time to call out the strategy reserves…

  • Open a lemonade stand, and be your own best customer
  • Set up a nudist beach in your back yard
  • Listen exclusively to cool music (more…)

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Humour

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TOP 10 Toronto Pan Am Games Thrills – Update

With day one under way (spot the changes from yesterday’s post)…

  • Bask in the glow of a more diverse range of sponsors
  • Partake in jingoistic television coverage with gushing announcers
  • Enjoy the non-violent excitement of sports like archery, shooting, and boxing
  • Gape at the sorry-looking, illogical Games mascot (i.e. a multi-colour porcupine in Toronto?) (more…)

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Humour, Social & political humour

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Top 10 Thrills of Having the Pan Am Games in Toronto

With the official opening today…

  • Bask in the glow of a more diverse range of sponsors
  • Partake in live jingoistic television coverage with gushing announcers
  • Enjoy the non-violent excitement of sports like archery, shooting, and boxing (more…)

Category:

Humour, Social & political humour

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