With pro sports seasons overlapping this time of year, it can be useful for aficionados to keep handy some creative, all-purpose plaudits and critiques…
- You’re so slow, my mother could bake a turkey quicker!
- I hope you fill out applications as well as you fill out your uniform!
- Please give me your autograph if you can spell!
- Hey ref, your prescription glasses have come in!
- Does your pet turtle help you with your positioning?
- That play was so brilliant it doesn’t need a second act!
- I’ve trowelled cement that moved faster than you do!
- You guys are so good I see halos!
- What a shot! And no liquor glass!
- I haven’t seen a circus catch like that outside of a big tent!
the watch of time 
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