Creative commentary plus crafty composition

Just about anytime one clicks on-line to register with an app provider, there are a list of terms and conditions to be tacitly approved.

Such lists inevitably come with additional built-in links to more complex details, for those who want to bask in even more convoluted legalese. Given that these structures are compounded with periodic updating, there must be some organizations making a fortune on compliant wording approvals – especially if it’s by the word. In any event, one can be certain the provider will have its side of the business relationship protected.

By now many of us will have received notice of a Microsoft Services Agreement revision, with changes affecting Skype, OneDrive, and other elements. In addition to summary explanations, there are those links available to the elaborate whys and wherefores, such as privacy statements, etc.

Notwithstanding such diligence, as the extent of users and uses grows, there would seem to be a concomitant necessity to broaden service notices further, introducing some esoteric provisions…

  • Our family of services will be monitored regularly to insure they do not become dysfunctional
  • Void where a future generation might be expected to take offence
  • Services being added may require additional passwords, which due to volume will have 20-character minimum including at least one emoji
  • ‘Cloud’ storage limits are now less than those of one’s imagination
  • Limit of liability goes as far as the geographic location of the user
  • Codes of conduct from now on will be steeped in ethereal ciphers
  • A covered vs. uncovered service will depend on the level of blanket coverage one chooses as option
  • Your account is really yours in name only, get over it
  • FAQs will be altered to be delivered only in acronyms in order to save space and time
  • Mechanisms for resolving disputes will have their springs wound up weekly on the stroke of midnight

As usual, the bar continues to swing in favour of the consumer.

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