the watch of time

This is the time of year in our hemisphere when the weather at times, like now, can get quite hot.

Amazingly, year after year, weather ‘experts’ continue to feed a diatribe of trite warnings, like drinking plenty of liquids, using suntan lotion, and staying out of the sun during the heat of the day. These patently obvious comments are trotted out as if we are either too stupid to figure them out ourselves, or somehow have missed hearing them pronounced many times before.

To avoid such ad nauseum, more original and dramatic observations need to be espoused:

• While sidewalks may be hot enough to fry eggs, it’s more practical to leave them sunny side up
• A shady deal may not leave you covered
• Trying to attract the cooler aftermath of a pop-up thunderstorm by running around with a metal flag pole may lead to getting charged
• Attempting to cool off an auto interior by pouring water on the hood can leave you hosed
• Minnows caught along the edge of a beach do not make healthy between meal snacks for children
• Don’t assume dry ice is more comfortable because of less humidity
• Neighbourhood outdoor pools are likely to have restrictions on bubble baths
• When the ice cream truck comes by, just because you spend $10 don’t expect the driver to change his (endlessly repeated) tune
• Inevitable construction zones do not mean it’s O.K. to park under tractor shade
• It’s not a waste to erect a beach umbrella if it’s not raining