the watch of time

Spring seems finally to be raining in, so here’s some dry humour from enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

• I’m concentrating on my own sales today, so none of your business takes precedence with me
• The ship’s captain was annoyed because his off-duty crew was not playing with a full deck
• The old ball and chain didn’t bring nearly as much at the auction as we were hoping
• I know it’s the world’s largest handkerchief, but in public it’s nothing to sneeze at
• Get off your rocker, put on your shoes, and help us organize this project
• Leave it to good ol’ Nothing to write home about what’s missing at camp this year
• Having the food spread out on a short leash isn’t going to curb the dog’s appetite
• If it’s not the ghost of a chance card, then maybe it’s the spirit of a community chest card
• Just because you have a bad case of sunburn doesn’t mean food will cook on the back burner
• If you hung up your coat more carefully, then it wouldn’t keep falling off the hook