the watch of time

It remains cold outside, but here’s the warmth of more enlivened clichés (with the original in italics):

• Using a knife through hot butter ensures we’ll be cleaning up the counter for some time
• A one-liners professional comedian needs better audience response than a laugh a minute
• Must I remind you that if you don’t know where you stand you’ll be looking for new boots pretty quickly
• A leopard doesn’t change its spots at least until wash day
• A dry mouth is one thing, however, licking one’s wounds is not the best way to produce saliva
• It’s your call, but if you get that look before you leap it means the coach doesn’t think you’re ready
• They only carry miniature reproductions of animals shopping for gifts, like a bull in a china shop
• Not being anatomically wasteful is one thing, but a knuckle sandwich is going to need a heck of a lot of mustard and dressing
• I don’t care what the dog whisperer says, a little bird told me the bones are buried in that part of the yard
• To really loosen up your neck muscles look over your shoulder both ways at least half a dozen times