Creative commentary plus crafty composition

A Cute Story

According to a brief article in the current issue of Psychology Today, there are about one billion dogs in the world, but only about 15% are domesticated. (Many of the 85% in the wild don’t make it to their first birthday, due to being abandoned as pups.)

It would seem that a key point to a dog’s survival is “Tricking a person into taking care of it”.

Whether or not ‘trickery’ per se is a canine strategy (as opposed, for example, to serendipity), based on research at the University of Florida, puppies which seem cute to humans, particularly at one to two months of age, are more likely to attract masters. Presumably, this is a quality of survival gene which has passed along through dog generations. In the study, student ratings of photographed dogs from birth to about seven months old indicated that “pups are most adorable to humans exactly when they are most vulnerable”.

Such a precept makes one wonder what other ‘cute’ stories might be out there…

  • Archeologists reveal the pyramids were originally supposed to be four-sided, but the pharaohs decided that three sides would be more engaging
  • A secret report has uncovered western governments’ awareness of extra-terrestrial visitors, however, most aliens are unwilling to be seen by humans, until they develop a more winsome appearance
  • The prevaricator society moves to encourage forgiveness by couching obfuscations in soft, lovable terms
  • To combat calorie concerns, ice cream manufacturers plan to sweeten popular flavours like chocolate and vanilla with artificial kindness
  • To help alleviate complaints to provincial officials about unsympathetic treatment of constituents, pictures of cheery emojis will be included in all future public correspondence
  • Charitable foundations look to expand their appeal by offering personalized mantras to anyone donating $50 or more
  • Wildlife officials will start placing ‘Isn’t its essence darling?’ signs in public areas of wild bird droppings, to slow sales of slingshots and pellet guns
  • To lessen traveler frustration with road construction delays, city planners will erect billboards along affected routes, featuring imagined faces of commuters relieved that projects are completed
  • Professional sports officials are instituting bylaws to generate only uplifting intonations as they whistle while they work
  • School boards vote to incorporate more endearing terms in reports to parents to help make up for lack of specifics in student assessments

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