the watch of time

Not too long ago I was at a presentation in Ottawa designed to help attendees get a leg up on turning mingling into networking, while making good first impressions, in social encounters.  It was led by a couple, ‘experts’ in the field of The Art of the Cocktail.

Rules of practical behaviour and etiquette, to some extent obvious but nonetheless relevant, included:

• Don’t go up to someone and ask “Remember me?”; don’t correct mispronunciations in public
• Have a sincere, short personal introduction; balance comments and questions; maintain eye contact
• Use transitions if shifting to ‘business conversation’
• Have business cards ready in a card case, not a wallet; if you want someone to have your card, ask for theirs
• Approach a group of three or more which looks ‘open’, then move from non-verbal feedback to verbal; watch for cues, including others who may wish to join
• Lead up to leaving a group via closed or rhetorical questions and transitions, and conclude with a polite comment
• Don’t visit a buffet more than twice, except for dessert
• Fold napkins a third of the way on one’s lap, so that ‘all soiling goes under the fold’
• Safe conversation topics generally include travel, the weather, non-controversial subjects, or areas in common
• Conversation topics usually to avoid include personal health, intimate or gossipy information, or stories in questionable taste
• Have other-focused questions handy, as it’s ‘better to be interested than interesting’
• If talk is business related, use soft terms like agreement, approve, and opportunity rather than ones like contract, sign, and deal; avoid using lingo
• If dealing with criticism, clarify, use verbal cushions, don’t argue, and keep responses short
• Enter being self-aware of one’s attitude, ready for being involved in the event
• Appreciate that networking is part of life, so be prepared to get help and to follow-up

The implicit challenge is to put such tips into practice when planned or extemporaneous occasions arise.