Creative commentary plus crafty composition

For Whom the Poll Chimes

As the more leisurely pace of summer comes to an end, we should soon see polling companies revving up their contact buttons. 

During the dog & cat days of summer, polls have been mainly of the daily local media variety.  Perhaps on the assumption thinking processes should not be overly taxed this time of year, the significance of the questions is often trivial or ethereal.  Such as:

  • Do you think summer is over (asked in August after a relatively cold spell)?
  • Have you ever done anything stupid while drunk?
  • Should teenagers be entitled to start school later in the day?
  • How much should the ‘tooth fairy’ give per tooth (i.e. with a range of possible responses)?

As we shift into a less laconic time of year, let’s watch for more serious-minded questions, such as:

  • If two boats collide while traveling at night, and neither has any running lights on, should sherbet be served to patch things up?
  • If two timber wolves fight in the forest, is it O.K. for trees to make a sound?
  • Should roadside signs have borders of invisible paint?
  • When visiting family during the holidays, is it O.K. to smell their pets?
  • If someone at work tries to get you to participate in a gift for someone you don’t like, is it discreet to use your own plastic bag to literally cough up a contribution?
  • When you receive an unsolicited phone from a telemarketer, do you prefer to respond with: (a) a fog horn, or (b) hiccups, or (c) a twenty minute soliloquy?

As responsible citizens in this instant information age, we should be prepared with responses which will help grow a better society.     

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