Creative commentary plus crafty composition

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  • Sandwiches for Santa should be on rye bread because this is as close as he can get to liquor on his most important delivery day
  • In lieu of chimneys, Santa prefers a red silk chute through a side window
  • If children arise prior to 6:00 am, parents can withdraw one gift for every twenty minutes they attempt to get the household up earlier
  • Stockings hung perfectly straight with coloured clothes pegs are likely to receive bonus stuffers
  • Pets adopted at Christmas are twice as likely to want seconds at mealtime
  • Adding castor oil to holiday punch insures it will not run out too quickly
  • Streaming the same holiday movies more than six times entitles one to a 2% discount from service providers
  • Declaring to visiting family that ‘soup’s on’ encourages breaking bread
  • Putting red or green filters on car windows puts police officers in a better mood when they pull you over
  • Finding two snowflakes alike during the holidays means you should read more

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